Sunday, March 13, 2011

Part Three is up

Thanks to the Anonymoose who gave me a gentle shove via a comment on the last post. I worked hard this weekend (between yard work) to work through the parts I hadn't done. There are still sections I want to edit, but enough is enough. I've had the flu and been very busy at work, but it really comes down to a reluctance to ever call anything 'finished'. I know if I had another few days to work on it...

When I write, I use double angle brackets to denote the PDA dialogs like:

<< Hi! What's your version number? >>

but convert them to the Germanic-looking smaller version to publish. This time I didn't do that. Let me know which you prefer. I actually find it easier to read the bigger version, even though it looks less elegant.

Part Four is already in the works, and I will set up a complete-o-meter on it.  Part Four will be the logical end of this part of Calli's story. Once that's all done, I plan to have a professional editor go through the whole thing, after which I probably will publish it through Amazon's store for 99 cents or something. Of course I'll also post it here, so if you don't have a buck, you're still good.

Thanks to everyone who has posted comments or emailed. As a reminder, if you gave me a name to use, those won't appear until Part Four.


  1. Part 3 was awesome, especially the end.

  2. That is one heck of a cliffhanger... can't wait for the next part.

  3. It looks like your double angle bracket example did disappear from the post.

  4. Thanks--fixed it. Blogger has trouble with escape codes.

  5. Funny, I feel like I've affected events in real time...

    I enjoyed Part Three very much. I'll be sending you an email about editing.

  6. You did very much influence events. Your comment made me feel like a slacker, and that was the bump I needed to get on with it. I welcome the comments. I'm sure there are things that still need to be fixed, and I'll have to have a professional go through the whole thing when it's done.

  7. Critical commentary incoming:

    Just got done reading the entire thing in one night. Part 1 and 2 would be 5 star reviews on Amazon. Part 3 is 2.5 stars, and even seems much worse than that in comparison 1 and 2. The story is missing cohesiveness, the characters have retrogressed in both intelligence and reader-interest, the world has stopped being interesting, and there are major plot arcs from Part 2 that are not developed in any meaningful sense.

    How does Nova go from America's Most Wanted to having lunch with Jumbo? And Calli (even post-Ahab) is cool with that? What the hell was the point of the roboroach in a box? Who gives a shit about Eve, she was better as some minor female character for Sevens to pursue in an awkward manner, why make her the major plot point? Ahab is all "have unlimited Time and access to our training" but is suddenly omnipotent badguy?

    The most disappointing thing is seeing 2-year old Calli not develop at all, or even retrogress. The entire "Ahab raped my ports and tangled my code" almost seems retroconned as an excuse for a lackluster female lead. The story has gone from sly and tight scifi, with new things around every corner, to a mess of a story in a single part.

    Please, find the uniqueness, personality, and passion of Part 1 and 2 again.

  8. Note: the previous comment came to my inbox, but didn't actually show up on the blog. I don't understand why, but I re-posted it myself above.

    First, thanks for the compliment as well as the brutal honesty. I much appreciate the feedback, and if you want to add more details later, or anyone else has critical remarks, they are welcome. It now feels like I imagine flying a 747, writing LA, with all the kinetic energy pushing me along while I wiggle flaps and whatnot. It's very easy to stray outside the window of airworthiness and turn into a brick. The risk as reader of a free serial is that you're seeing what Charles Stross calls a "manuscript" in his excellent description of writing sci-fi. The description of what happens to said manuscript before publication is a little hair-raising. In this case, the complete manuscript isn't even finished (part four will do that).

    I'll think about this some more and make a proper post out of it. Sorry you were let down by part three, but again thanks for the constructive criticism.